With Vampires all the talk is on Fangs where as so little is talked about the useful vampire tools of 20 sharp and great looking claws

VAMPIRE CLAWS

by Amy Mah Vampire

Vampire Claws

With Vampires all the talk is on Fangs where as so little is talked about the useful vampire tools of 20 sharp and great looking claws.

Claws are weapons and tools and not just something to polish, paint red and scratch hard to reach parts of your body with.

I have often explained how useful they are for opening easy open packs of cookies along with the need to keep them clean and sharp using a block of wood at bed time.

It can be very restful to lie on ones back ripping apart a block of wood as one strengthens ones fingers and toes.

I do so wish my Aunt would not call it girls playing with themselves in bed to make ones fingers stronger as I am sure people will misunderstand such wording…

Sighing ...... so silly to misunderstand the comment as heck that sort of behaviour is what we have maids for.

But the reason they pop out in times of need is rarely spoken about outside classes on personal vampire hygiene.

I can only talk of the living vampire here but the simple reason they work so well is that you do not need to think about un-sheathing them, it kinda just happens.

Now I suspect it works something like ones bladder Er? Ok not quite as your bladder but in the way muscles are always on so relaxing muscles

will instantly give you the ability to make water or in the case of a vampire show off your wall climbing tools.

Now a word of warning it is not a good idea to stand behind any vampire and shout “BOO” as unlike a human being surprised may produce a puddle of water with a vampire

it is more likely they will remove the heads of anyone within 20feet as a shock response, or just anger of having ruined yet another pair of shoes by the extending of foot claws by accident.

FASHION

Males have it easy, hand made shirts and trousers have been in fashion with Male Vampires for, like, forever.

The fashion industry is really unhelpful to Female Vampires as it changes too fast to keep up with, and after the first 100 years fashion shopping gets to be boring. So, the general rule is:-

* Go for black, go for tight.

* If it looks fantastic on you but isn't in fashion, then people will think you are ahead of the trend or going retro.

* A number of little black dresses (with different hem lengths due to fashion changes) will be a good idea to have in the wardrobe.

* Expensive classic clothes last longer, a very expensive ball gown can last almost a century if you protect it from the moths.

* Jeans may not be the most traditionally Vampiric of things to wear, but they do them in black. If you find that perfect style that's shows off your posterior (in a nice sexy way) and feels like a second skin buy 50 pairs - no matter the changes in fashion, a good comfy pair of jeans is something to kill for (and in our world that can be arranged if someone else has got to them first!).

* Shoes are a problem... how can a girl wear decent shoes when her toes have claws that can punch a hole in concrete let alone leather? Why is it that the only thing left to wear are the type of open toed footwear used in the Naruto books and films!? Practical, yes. Cool looking? No.

* Warm clothing is important. Forget the movies and the excess showing of skin, if it's cold then wear something warm. No-one has ever said you can't wear a black woolly hat, gloves, and a scarf on winter nights when out hunting.

* Black always looks good, and hopefully you don't have an Aunt that likes to add little pink bats to all your clothes to make you look like the Addams Family meets the Tooth Fairy.....